189. the castle of i

189. the castle ithe castle of i
189. ‘Us’ is a moat between the ‘id -sense vulnerability of ‘I’ and the dark shadowed horizons of the ‘Others’. ‘Us’  grants both ‘safety in numbers’ (specifically being in the center of that like-herd ) and an isolation from the predatorily grasp of the mob.

Wether one seeks membership in a terror group, a religious cult or a mere club of some social prestige, one seeks the same thing. A life boat for the existential drowning.
Self-meaning by the buoyancy of belonging without full dissolution.
Somewhere between being a ‘man’ , a ‘woman’, a singular…even, if you will, a soul;  and being men or the collective or the Dilution …even, if you will, a god or god-thing; ….we
have that ‘Us’…even, if you will, the Devil.



175. Capitalism is like a malevolent storm…a dark eye…bringing all things of men into itself; and this vacuum of scarcity towards plenty creates that maelstrom called (the violence) of economics.

176. ……spiritually leprorotic is a word i have coined…..it means to shed by automation ( without control or willful input or desire) any of the extraneous and visible extensions of one’s soul in the world…..this will be seen by others as a visible decay , rot, misuse, abuse and disease . Ironically , its primary cause is from contact with other men.

177. and ‘I’ will, indeed, never be less evil than the crimes ‘I’ cannot condemn because of my instinct for collectivization..for the We against the Others…..for the ‘Us’; the We, is a moat between the vulnerability and sanctity of the ‘I’ and the dark horizons outward, the spectre of the ‘Others’.

perception only scratches the surface

174. perception only scratches the surfce

174. The Cat and I…a short essay by the Confused ( extrinsical or intrinsical)Teleologist

All the wonders and complexities of universal expansions and biological evolutions and human history transpired to create a time and 500 square feet of apartment space for each of us to co-habitat in symbiotic balance. (his, physical; mine, emotional) .
But which of us is ultimately the causality of the other?



173. Virtue: From the Latin word vir, meaning “man,” the Romans formed the word virtus
A devil of a time coming up with this one. A thing, a man, a woman? Influenced me the most? Yes I would say , perhaps , the most..or at least….for the most better.
So the Devil, it was. How can I speak of a mentor of evil, one would ask? Unless, of course, one assumes that I, too, am evil. Ah, assumptions. Like dumplings, they have picked up the flavour of what they have fallen into , not what they are. My devil is not evil, this fellow or fellowess, though I would not call it kind nor pitying though I might indeed call it: compassionate.
Well, how can my devil have compassion, you ask? My devil never straps explosive vests onto willing beliefs or burns out the blasphemies from the doubter nor grinds a holy gold out of aboriginal flesh nor covers living faces nor condemns children be to unspared by rods.
Sometimes a kindness is more in a gesture than a point. Someone once said that to really know the worth of men and their great institutions and decrees and edicts, first picture them all in a great stern of gold and sinister black garb sitting before the masses but…they are all sucking their thumbs.
So I don’t listen to them or the ridiculousness of their gods. Do you notice that they all have so many gods but only one Devil? Now this isn’t because the Devil is easy to define and god is not. No, indeed. Rather, it is because god can be defined and the Devil cannot be.
For if I define the Devil, I define myself. A godly man cannot define himself with the Devil, now can he? He hasn’t the will for it.
You see this is why I love the Deviless , though I do not worship her. Worshippers of the Devil are really only Christians with mirrors. The Devil is no leader…nor does he/she require followers.
The Deviler only gives one thing and he gives that without cost. Indeed, she is only giving us what we have to give to ourselves. Will.
You see god ( which doesn’t exist) has always said to me “ Find my Will, then follow it” . Everything thereafter that I ever read, said, thought, talked, debated, cried and prayed seemed to conclude with ‘My Will, that is, God’s Will is not your will.’ It is not that I wanted only to do my will for ‘evil’ but that I only wanted to do my will to follow God’s Will but that very following became a sin; became the definitions of evil. Will or Not Will , I found myself condemned. Not only must I willingly weave the rope to hang myself , I must tie it myself to the gallows. I must put it around my neck. I must kick out my own stool. The stool that I made with my own hands with the wood that I cut down in the forest. What was the crime for this willing death sentence? Killing trees.

I do not believe at all in god but I do believe in the power of god’s will. I see the tracks and carnage of it across every landscape of men and every face of a man or woman.

My Devil grins but she does not grin at that.

Thus, Sometimes it is enough in compassion to simply not speak, not condemn. That’s my ‘Devil may care’. That’s what has saved me.

171. Primum quod non potest perficere………One cannot perfect what is not first created.


171. berlau-galileo-floating-bodiesa berlau-galileo-floating-bodiesa

171. Primum quod non potest perficere………One cannot perfect what is not first created. ……
Galileo: Cannot one claim that as Man is creative and curious and that God made Man; that , indeed , God made Man as He intended him to be as creative and curious and this is a holy and good thing in Man.

L’inquisitore: God made Man, yes, but God made Man to have free will and through that free will, many a man can seek things which are not of God; indeed which are blasphemous and unholy and of offensiveness to God. God did not make the unholy choice , He only made of Man the means to make that choice.

Galileo: Yes, I agree God made Man of a free will but God gave also to Man, five senses and, as well, a great creative mind to analyse and construct from those senses the wonders and patterns of all that God has created. If God did not want Man to be curious , why did He give Man those senses with that mind. A blind man can not only not see but he will also not wonder at what he cannot see . Before Man declares a thing good or evil before God, is he not compelled by his very nature to explore, to analyze by all creative means , to assess and to conclude and then use his free will to decide. Is not then a wondering, wandering man who continually returns to God more faithful than a blind, deaf, unthinking man who never strays from the chains of his own untested faith?

170. never idle works

170. never idle works
170.Like the butterfly and the hurricane, the little a man does can bring great harm to other men.
In The Vocation of Man (1800), Fichte says that “you could not remove a single grain of sand from its place without thereby … changing something throughout all parts of the immeasurable whole”.

169. the assembling of man

169. the assembling of man

169…when you pull something out of the ‘whole’, that piece will remain obsessed with why it is separate and why it alone is separate from the ‘remaining whole’…for it takes an impossible ego to regard the piece as a whole and the remaining whole as merely a piece…yet it is precisely wavering between these two states that the human consciousness lives….

es liegt in der Natur eines Weges um die Reise zu begrenzen……it is in the nature of a path to limit the journey

162. the nature of fate
es liegt in der Natur eines Weges um die Reise zu begrenzen……it is in the nature of a path to limit the journey
162. Fate vs Destiny. Destiny ‘seems’ pre-ordained, pre-determined at least by the odds in the game and in the nature of a the player’s play.
Fate, however, seems an expression of chaos.
A man is surprised by his experience because he maintains always in his field of view a projectionism of other possibilities.
What makes man miserable in his soul is not his optimism or his doubts about different outcomes but his believe in the possibility of an outcome other than the actual outcome. It is not reality that makes men suffer existentially ( though they may or may not suffer physically regardless) but the expectation of a different reality…in fact…a reality which could not nor ever will exist. ( Only what ‘is’ will be reality, never what what ‘could be’)